70 Things Not to say to a man with a small Penis……..

1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it’s cute.
3. I’m sorry.
4. Never mind, why bother.
5. Who circumcised you?
6. Why don’t we just cuddle?
7. You know they have surgery to fix that.
8. It’s more fun to look at.
9. Make it dance.
10. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that.
11. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
12. It looks like a nightcrawler.
13. Wow, and your feet are so big.
14. My last boyfriend was 4″ bigger.
15. It’s OK, we’ll work around it.
16. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
17. Eww, there’s an inch worm on your thigh.
18. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
19. Oh no, a flash headache.
20. (giggle and point)
21. Can I be honest with you?
22. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
23. Let me go get my tweezers.
24. How sweet, you brought incense.
25. This explains your car.
26. You must be a growing boy.
27. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
28. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
29. Are you one of those pygmies?
30. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
31. Ever hear of Clearasil?
32. All right, a treasure hunt!
33. I didn’t know they came that small.
34. Why is God punishing you?
35. At least this won’t take long.
36. Let’s just stick with your hand.
37. Do you need a splint to prop that up.
38. How interesting.
39. I never saw one like that before.
40. What do you call this?
41. But it still works right?
42. Damn I hate baby-sitting.
43. It looks so unused.
44. Do you take steroids?
45. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks your dick.
46. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
47. I think there’s a dildo around here somewhere.
48. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
49. Let me know when you’re done.
50. Oh, I didn’t know you were in an accident.
51. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
52. Aww, it’s hiding.
53. Are you cold?
54. If you get me real drunk first.
55. Is that an optical illusion?
56. What is that?
57. Does this run in your family?
58. I’ll go get the ketchup for your French fry.
59. Were you neutered?
60. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
61. Does it come with an air pump?
62. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
63. Where are the puppet strings?
64. Look, it all fits in my mouth at once.
65. Deep throat???
66. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
67. Can you get this pencil out of me now?
68. Do I hang my hat on it?
69. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!
70. Don’t hold back.

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1. When you got circumcised, did it take more than one try?
2. Your dick’s so small, you can sodomize anys.
3. Your dick’s so small, you can masturbate through the slits in a fork
4. Your dick’s so small, you rent out the Hubbell when you have to piss.
5. Your dick’s so small, bacteria laugh at it.
6. Your dick’s so small, you could screw a pasta strainer.
7. Your dick’s so small, the doctor wasn’t quite sure what you were.
8. I never knew you could have a belly button under your stomach.
9. Your dick’s so thin, I’ve seen paper clips wider.
10. Your dick’s so crooked, it’s like a compass, it always points north.
11. There’s bread harder than your dick.
12. Your dick’s so small, you could get a B.J. from a crease in a lip.
13. Your dick’s so small, the police filed it a missing person.
14. Your dick’s so small, a cop frisks you and asks, “Sex change?”
15. Your dick’s so thin, you could turn it sideways and it’d disappear.
16. Your dick’s so thin, Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal) is jealous.
17. Your dick’s so small, when you have sex, girls ask if it’s in yet.
18. Your dick’s so ugly, it’s like a pimple with a pulse.
19. When you go swimming in cold water, does your dick get bigger?
20. Your confusin an inch with a foot again.
21. Your dick’s so small, satisfying a woman for you is “Mission: Impossible”.
22. There’s a wrinkle in your pants, you hard?
23. How about I kick you in the nuts? That’s a foot. Contrast and compare.
24. Your dick’s so small, when you were born, the doctor smacked the wrong side.
25. Are you ever gonna get that wart lanced?
26. What does a man with a small penis have for breakfast? (PAUSE) I dunno, what’d you have?
27. Your dick’s so thin, paper called you up and said, “YOU BASTARD!”
28. Your dick’s so small, it sleeps in a matchbox with a cotton swab pillow.
29. Your dick’s so small, you’ll never be half the man your mother was.
30. Your dick’s so small, you could use a thimble and fishing line for a thong.
31. Your dick’s so small, I haven’t laughed that hard since I saw your balls.
32. Your dick’s so small, your condoms look like the thumb of a latex glove.
33. I bet you can make your dick disappear by breathing in and out.
34. Your dick’s so ugly it cries itself to sleep at night.
35. Your dick’s so small, you stand next to a light switch naked all day crying.
36. You got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant.
37. After hours of going at it with a woman, she yawns and asks if you’re done yet.
38. Your dick’s so small, it looks like one of the California raisins.
39. Your dick must be tiny, I heard you had sex with a shower head.
40. When you get hard it looks like a toothpick.
41. Your dick’s so thin, it represents Weight Watchers.
42. Your dick’s so ugly, they put in fields to scare away the crows.
43. Your dick’s so small, your girlfriend took it to court and they threw it out for lack of evidence.
44. The only time you can give a woman orgasm is when you pull out your American Express.
45. Your dick’s so small, you think it’s gonna explode when you cum.
46. Your doctor called he said you had a small problem.
47. You have to put the seat down to piss, right?
48. The only thing your dick’s bigger than is a grain of dust.
49. Your dick’s so small, you piss on your nuts.
50. Your dick’s so small, sperm’s a tight squeeze.

There’s this stripper in this small room and three guys past by and the girl says ill give each one of you a blow job if you put a donut on your dicks. The guys say ok. So the first guy goes in and then comes out and says “Holy shit, that felt good I hope I can go again!” after him the second guy goes in and then comes out and yells “OMG that was amazing, she ate the donut right off!” afterwards the third guy got enough balls to go in…. after a few seconds he comes out and whispers “She told me to go get a cheerio.”